I am so sick of not having a job or money or a house. like fuck this shit. My son needs a stable life. FUCK YOU!
Spent all day with my little man! Can’t believe he is one. :). His daddy didn’t really spend time with him but oh well, he had a good day. :)
A year ago today, I was admitted to the hospital at 11am after being told I had protein (500+) in my urine and my blood pressure being 200+/190. Immediately they put a pill inside me to soften my cervix and after two hours of it being in I was 1cm dilated . They finally let me out of bed and had to pee. While I pee’d I felt two contractions said “Screw this” and proceeded to get an epidural. As well as the epidural I was on Pitocin and magnesium. A two drip magnesium is what that put me on and that was about to kill me and my son but the doctor didn’t care. At 5pm or 530pm, I was dilated to about a 4 or 5 and they decided to pop my water. That had to of been the weirdest feeling in the world! I don’t remember much after that other than every hour on the hour they cam in to check my bp and push me around make me lift myself up with lifeless legs and it honestly pissed me off.
Around 7pm that night, We were sooo tired. :/. I was on sooo many meds I had no idea what was really going on. Chris said I didn’t want to stop talking, haha.
Somehow 9am rolled around and they checked me I was about 8cm dilated, didn’t think much of it and still was gorged out as ever. I made the nurse give me something to drink and “eat” since I hadn’t ate since Saturday night(over 24 hours without eating) She comes back with a popsicle and a sprite, against my doctors wishes. Haha. At 11am I felt a lot of pressure, Called my mom and told her and she freaked out on me and I handed the phone to Chris. She told him that I needed to call in my nurse because if I was feeling pressure with the epidural something was going on. The nurse comes in and I tell her about my pressure and she says she can not check me for another hour, I screamed at her and said you better check me NOW! She checked me and Zander was crowning! They were trying to suffocate him. She said I couldn’t push because my stupid doctor went to lunch so I was secretly pushing. At 11:20am they let me get 3 pushes and then the doctor came in I pushed again threw up and said I couldn’t do it anymore. The doctor yanked my hand and made me feel his head, I pushed one more time and he was out. at 11:38 am April 30th, 2012 I had my handsome little Zander James.
My life has changed for the best since having him.<3
Thanks for reading.<3
How am I not a good person? And what’s the point of fighting for someone that doesn’t even care how you feel? How things hurt you? That constantly talks to people about inappropriate things when they know they shouldn’t? Anon, I honestly don’t think you know anything about this situation. Maybe you should just leave me alone since I am such a horrible fucking person.
For real, this just happened :/
My life. :/
I think we all wish we had this. But then again, our bad memories make us stronger.